"If you met your exact self as another person, would you like them? Would they be a good friend? Would they seem kind, generous and loving? Would they have time and patience, and invest in your friendship? Would you feel good in their presence? Would they make you laugh? Would you truly want to spend time with them? Would they be a good influence? Remember, no one on earth spends more time with you, than — you. Be a good friend to yourself. The best way to be a good friend to yourself is to be a good person. Be the kind of person you wish you had in your life, because who you are, is exactly who you've got."
— Bryant McGill
I read this today and immediately thought about how much I have changed in the past twenty years for the better. I am a good friend and becoming a better one each day.
Almost twenty-one years ago I moved back to Houston from Germany. It was the second time living in the states as an adult. My first time was only a few months when I found out I was pregnant with my second child which made me return to Germany.
Now I had three children had been married for several years and was looking for a new home. Fast forward a little over 20 years. My children are grown up, I divorced and re-married and divorced again. Why do I bring all the past up? Simply put I would not have liked the person I was then. However, the person I am today is different. I have grown up in so many ways. I have learned so much about who I am as an individual. This has made me a better person to befriend. Now do not get carried away. I have very few true friends. I have learned that the number is not important it is the quality of the individual. I can honestly say I really only have five friends. We do not always see each other, mainly my fault because I work, work for myself and go to school.
To be a good friend however, you must take time to be with those people you care about. I did not back then. I worked and did things for the kids. At the time I could not see that time was my most valuable contribution. A few days ago after my return from Dallas, I got to spend time with one of my very best friends and his daughter. We had a few drinks over dinner and got to talk. Starting the new year like this was perfect.
This all aside I think the best thing I have done to become a better friend is become a better me. Yes, I read self help, business, relationship and discovery books. I am expanding my horizons in education. I am learning to love my alone time. I create projects that help to calm me. I meditate. By the grace of god I get more sleep. ( Most of the time) I plan trips. Have museum memberships to just go and absorb art and culture. I take time to sleep in when I can. The recharge is most important in my day. No, I am not perfect but I know that all the growth takes time, a willingness to get up and dust myself off and constant work.
