Living with Racism: What is it going to take to change the rhetoric?

I hate to say it but I have dealt with racism several times in my life. Each time left a mark on my soul. 

 My earliest encounter was in Decatur, Alabama in the 70's. I went with a friend to spend a few weeks with her grandmother. I was so niave back then. I grew on military bases as a kid. Although I am sure it was present on base, as kids we were kind of stuck together. My friend and I went for lunch in town.  I remember we were going to church for lunch. I don't know why but it was a thing. I entered the front of the church to go to the bathroom. I didn't think anything of it. A woman began yelling at me can't you read!!! I never really saw her but I was so scared I ran. I kept running until we were back at her grandmothers. There was a sign that said "Whites Only".  To this day I can still see the sign in my mind. I never returned to Decatur after that incident. 

My second occurrence was in Germany. My then husband and I were looking for an apartment. We had arrived at what promised to be a great location and great size apartment. Out of a window a woman screams " Schwarze hier nicht gewollt" meaning that blacks were not wanted there. We left with the leasing agent immediately. I am not a person brought to tears but I was at that moment. I can't even tell you why. It hurt. We eventually found an apartment and I never walked that street again.

If you do not know much about me and my family, we are a mini U.N. My DNA reads like a globe. My children are half Turkish and half black. That adds so much more to our background. I am proud to be so diverse. I am 52% African and 48% European. There are so many nations that make up both of those percentages. It has never really mattered more than it does now. Our blended familly is from Africa, France, Germany, Italy, Ireland, Scottland, Spain, Turkey, Yemen, Korea, Vietnam, Russia, Northern Europe, and Northern America.

I challenge you all to look at your background. Discover who you really are and where your family is from. It is a rare thing to be a pure race. Unless you are a tribe deep in the Amazon forest, or something of this nature it is highly unlikely. The more you discover about your background, the more you will discover that we are all the same. 

No matter the rhetoric why are we still having this conversaton? I was not even born during Martin Luther King's time. That means this has been going on for over 60 years. I am watching the protest on TV, things are wrapping up. Of course things are turning tense. I understand the anger. I do not understand the hate. Hate does nothing. We need to come from a place of love to resolve this. Love for one another. Sure there will be people you do not care for in your life. I get that. But hate is the devils work. Hate is a negative emotion. Negative emotions bring negaive into your energy space. 

Why are we not voting? No matter if we are African American, Latin American, Asian American, Caucasian, why are we allowing this to continue? Why are we allowing the bullies to push us around? That is what is happening. We are allowing the bullies to control us. With race relations, with sex trafficing, with child abuse, all of these negatives. This is the time that you have to get to the poles and vote. Vote to change. You are the change. Get to the polls and make a difference. 

There is an easy way to look at all of this. We are simply the human race. We all come here the same way. We leave the same way. No matter if you are a believer or not. (I sure hope you come to Christ, Buddah, Allah, or believe in a higher power).  Pray in whatever way feels comfortable to you. Love one another. 

We are all still recovering from Covid. We all need love. Pay it forward if you can. Speak kindly. 

For those of you saying as I myself did, #Alllivesmatter. Yes, they do! However, at this moment in time Black lives are being affected more than most. Just as in the bible the shepherd left his flock to save the one of the 100.

Matthew 18:12

How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?

We need to leave the 99 (#Alllivesmatter) and save the one (#Blacklivesmatter) it is that simple. It is not that one is astray. That one is being persecuted over and over. The officers that are doing so are in the minority.  It is time that we the majority hold them accountable. No one should be sitting back in the shadows. Everything is out in the light right now. Keep it in the light!! 

Are you considerate?

Today is a good day.  I say that and I have pondered this thought all day.  Are you considerate? 

I woke up early this morning after finally getting a good nights rest.  I had to drag myself out of bed to go on my walk.  I had to do a lot of self-talk.  My throat was a little sore. I wanted to lay in bed.  I wanted a day off.  I also want to lose weight and lead a more healthy lifestyle.  I was determined.  I know I have to get out earlier.  However, the only person standing in my way is me.  That's another story.  

I left on my walk a little before 8 in the morning. I walk for several reasons. I walk for exercise. Walking is an excellent cardio workout. I walk to pray without distraction. I pray throughout the day and I find that I pray differently when it is me and nature. I walk to energize my soul. It was already hot and humid.  

Imagine my dismay as I am walking alone and hear loud music in place of the chirping birds. A man running the trails is listening to his music without ear buds.  Normally, at this time of the morning, I can hear the birds and see the deer. 

I keep walking........ I run into a couple on their bikes.  Again the music is going x2 no earbuds on either person.  They are listening to two different tracks. UUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH.  I pass this couple 3 more times during my 4.4-mile walk.  

Yes, there are other people out on the trails.  They are being considerate of their surroundings.  Enjoying nature. Fishing off one of the piers. Running.  Enjoying the scenery. Picture taking. 

In this age of constant stress, is it so hard to be with your own thoughts? Is it so hard to be respectful of others? Think of others.  I know many people do not do this at all these days. Even in the salon and school, people walk in on their speakerphone.  Listen to videos that others have no interest in hearing. Play loud music. I really do not want to listen to your conversations, videos, and music.Turn off your ringers, sound, and music.  Be one with nature.  Be respectful of others peace and tranquility. 

Grandma life

It's hard to believe that a year ago I became a grandmother right before I turn 50. It's funny how a child being born changes people's lives. I didn't think about it then and when people told me before then I would be different I didn't believe them. I don't get to spend as much time with Caleb as I would like. But I love him dearly

Single over 50

As I approach my 52nd birthday, I have been thinking that dating is so hard these days.  I soon remeber it was never easy.

In my younger days I had this list of desires for my mate.  He had to be tall, blue eyes, have money and a great body.  Fast forward to today.  I still like a tall man but it is not a requirement.  I love blue eyes. However, I have only dated three men with blue eyes.  I don't need a man for his money.  I can make my own.  I do not have a slim frame and I do not expect him to either.

I have tried online dating off and on since my first divorce.  Yes, I have been married and divorced twice.  I know what you are thinking.  You are thinking in your mind that I have the wall built around me and that I judge men based on those two relationships.  In fact, the opposite is true.  No wall and no judgement.

Yes, I do have some things that I will not tolerate. I have always had a problem with these traits. I spell them out in my online profiles. In a nice way of course.  Bad table manners tops the list.  I cannot tolerate someone who chews with their mouth open, smacks, wipes their mouth on their sleeve and burping.  Rude behavior comes next.  No matter if the rude behavior is towards, myself, friends, family. or with waitstaff.  How you treat others tells how you will treat me eventually.  Personal hygiene is critical. If you are not neat and clean, that is just gross. Last but not least. I have to be with someone who speaks and writes the English language well. He does not have to have a graduate degree.  Common sense it a great part of that connection.  If I can't talk to you then we just can't be a couple.  Communication in a relationship is most important.

The dates I have had. There have been quite a few good and bad over my newest bout of single hood.  The most memorable was simple.  Dinner at a popular Mexican restaurant. He was funny, engaged the waitress, told her I refused to marry him, and a date we both did not want to end.  So we went to the movies after and stood in the parking lot talking.  This is one of my most memorable dates of recent years.  One of my worst. The man came to the date in a wife beater, shorts,  and flip flops.  We met at a place close to my house.  He luckily had an extra shirt.  We sat at the bar. My choice of course. I felt it was going strange and was trying not to judge.  After we finished eating and I mean immediately after. He paid for his. I did not expect him to pay for mine but it would have been nice if he offered.  The straw that ended it for me was him not tipping.  Servers and waitstaff are paid $2.65 or something like that an hour. They rely on tips to make money.  He saw my tip and said I over tipped. I was taken aback. Who was he to tell me what to tip?  He left immediately after paying. I knew that was the end of him in my life. My most meaningful relationship from online dating lasted three years.  Distance killed that relationship.  He lives over 200 miles away from me.  It worked for so long because we really worked at the relationship.  He would come here or I would go there.  Our jobs eventually made that hard to do. Thus ended the story of us.

So what happened to the perfect date?  We talk off and on but I scare him.  I scare him because of my ambition, his past, how we have both felt since the beginning, and what he thinks I want in a man. We actually talked about this last night.  A few people have seen us together and see what we both feel.  I even met the parents.  So we have not moved past this point.

I still go on dates.  I have to keep my options open when they come.  I pray about it and invite that person into my life. If I don't try I will not know.  My whole world does not revolve around dating.  I actually have had fun just going out with my friends. Who knows maybe I will find him out there somewhere. For now I  am content with who I am.  I am content to take my time. I know he is out there.  Maybe I have met him already. Maybe I have not.  Only time will tell. Hope is not lost.

Sept 11

On that day I remember exactly where I was when the first plane hit the towers.   I was trying to get ready for work and watching the news as I always do.  I could not believe my eyes or ears when I heard the news. I sat for a moment wondering if my aunt Lola was okay.  I called my father to see if he heard.  I wondered who could do such a thing? Why would you do such a thing?

I went to work.  There was a skeleton crew. We had TV's brought to the sales floor.  We all watched the planes hit over and over again.  It was horrible.  I kept thinking if I could only wake up from this nightmare.  I called my father again.  They still had not been able to get to my aunt.  This feeling of dread went on for months.  So many lost. For what? So many injured. 

Then there was the hope, America's pride, the oneness and the love.  Fifteen years later, I am wondering where is the hope, where is America's pride, the oneness and the love of your fellow man/woman?  Did we not learn anything back then?  How the destruction of a nation can come so quick. 

Honestly, there are very few people on the face of the earth that I cannot stand. I can count them on one hand and have fingers left over. I don't believe that anyone has any room to judge another. We all come and leave the earth the same way.  No one has it totally figured out.  There is not a magic pill or button that one can push to change their life.  Hate breeds hate and love breeds love. Once we realize these simple truths, then and only then will we be able to get past our differences and come together as a city, state, country, world or universe.

Standby revisited

4:30 a.m. we arrived at the airport after a horrible taxi ride.  We had to check our bags still and get through security.  The lines were long as the DoTerra convention had wrapped up late the previous day.  I was not without patience although I had lost it on the taxi driver.

 We stood in line and conversed with several fellow passengers. It was all fine we know that stand by means just that, a lot of standing and a lot of waiting.  I was prepared for such a wait. What I did not think about was the many crew members traveling.  I also did not think of the 42, 000 DoTerra wellness advocates that were trying to get home as well. The first flight left at 6:15 a.m. and it was full as were the flights following. 

It is now 11:01 and I am praying that we get a chance to leave soon.  If we can just get out of Salt Lake City.  The rest of the flights are somewhat manageable.

Lessons learned of course. Do not travel on a Sunday. Do have lots of patience. Do drink plenty of water and run to the bathroom between flights so you do not miss anything.  Not that spaces will magically open.

Doterra convention

I arrived in Salt Lake City yesterday with mom.  We have met so many of the Doterra  family along the way.  Everyone has been so friendly.  Sharing oils and experiences. 

I'm in general session now and there are so many people here!  There are no boundries.  People of all walks of life, from so many countries and all with one common goal. To share health and wellness through oils. 

Many think that DoTerra is  a pyramid scheme.  Yes, there are levels to the organization.  However, you are based on your performance.  You can participate as much or as little as you like.  There is no mandatory order amount.  Those limits only exist for those wanting to make a business out of DoTerra.   Which is why I am here today!!!😀

I came to DoTerra to get away from big pharma and lead a more holistic life.   In the past I was given a pill to sleep, for pain, to exist and function during the day, wake, fight the depression that I had due to the constant pain.  Now I use the oils, massage, meditation and movement to handle all of that and more. 

Oils have been used for centuries! Treating health conditions and to promoting  wellness.  The stigma or contoversy behind oils is they do nothing. THE REAL TRUTH IS THEY DO SO MUCH! BIG PHARMA IS AFRAID OF LOSING MONEY AND PUSHING FUNDS INTO THE CONTROVERSY AGAINST THE USE OF OILS!

Do your own research.   I have and still do as I continue my journey into my Essential Oil Life.